The Eternal and restless search for wholeness and unity in loving relationships, is in truth the greatest search for meaning and purpose in our lives. It is the search for something greater than the sum total of ourselves, which brings us into wholeness again.
One of the greatest reasons why human loving relationships fail, and often turn into war zones, is that we want the Other to fill the deep void inside of ourselves up, so that we can finally be WHOLE.
We sometimes can glimpse that eternal wholeness in a moment of profound, loving, deep union with our Divine Other, in those moments of ecstasy, bliss, euphoria. But that stage is short-lived, as everyday life encroaches upon us, and the little jackals, those little things, which irritate, which jar, then grow into monsters, which tend to sow division, fights, bickering.
Interestingly, it is that UNWHOLENESS in the partner, which most reflects our inner un-wholeness, brokenness, separation, for in truth the partner is reflecting all unloved, unacknowledged parts of ourselves, back to us.
So many people flit from one partner to another, one love to another, like adrenalin junkies. As soon as the infatuation wears off (which was mistaken as the THE LOVE, THE ONE AND ONLY), and reality sets in, the flaws of the partner become too much. Whereas once one loved those flaws and found them interesting, or even cute, or lovable, now become a source of immense irritation. The seeming flaws remind us of our own brokenness, our own un-wholeness, of the void, deep inside of us, which is so longing for unity, oneness, and then being whole again.
Interestingly the more we seek wholeness, and unity OUTSIDE of ourselves, the more we will find our own void, our own brokenness reflected everywhere.
I was reminded of this, when I was going through a stage where I was critical of my Divine Other, and only saw what I wanted to see. More than this, I had my own ideas, fantasies and whatever about the how, when, where.
It took me one day, of intensely missing him, of feeling that if I did not go deep inside myself, and felt into my WHOLENESS and LOVED MYSELF INTO THAT WHOLENESS again, I would not be able to love him into his wholeness. I decided there and then, that I would seek wholeness within and without myself, wholeness within him and wholeness in our relationship. I also decided that I would live in the here and now, and allow the past to dissolved. All of it. All the past lives, and parallel lives and whatever else.
I asked God and Goddess to show me his soul, in its highest truth, and innocence, that soul which was created as my own soul, as in the beginning, when we were first born as souls.
When I finally saw this, something deep within me shifted. I started sobbing. Not tears of woe, or sadness, but rather tears of awe and wonder. I could not find words. I could not find expression for what I was witnessing at SOUL level. I just saw the PERFECTION of God/Goddess’s creation, and realized, nothing was ever missing, nor wrong. For God/Goddess does not create imperfections. All was ONE unity, one symphony of perfection embodied in soul and creation.
My heart and soul opened up, and my body, mind, spirit, soul. My emotional body just released something immense.
I was then shown was true love was all about. How the Divine Love, and Divine Sexuality, could flow through the souls, with joy, delight, exultation, creation, and ultimate wonder of unity, in the highest and most profound sense, when there was NO-thing to distort, nothing to separate, nothing to break the illusion of ONENESS. It was a light-heart-ted-ness, a profound awesome gift of Love, which had no boundaries, no bounds, was infinite and was always present.
What that taught me, was that the negative ego distorts. The illusions we have of what partnerships should be like – and most of this is false programming which has come over many generations. Generations who often enforced marriages for dowry reasons, for political and land issues, even for tribal peace. Generations, where the un-wholeness of union, was carried over generation by generation, and therefore then more un-wholeness, rather than wholeness and unity.
To me this time is all about finding unity. Unity WITHIN oneself, the marriage between the Divine Masculine and Divine Feminine WITHIN. Yes, we all have the Divine Masculine and Divine Feminine within ourselves. Sometimes even they are at war with themselves, like we often want to cut out the shadow, and only see and acknowledge the light within us. The more we ignore the shadow, the more it will manifest into form, and mostly in the most intimate of relationship, where that shadow often bursts out in words one slings to each other, or uses like weapons of war. Words can leave scards which are the hardest to heal, mainly because they act like daggers in our emotional bodies, and need to be removed.
When the inner soul self finally seeks the union within itself, it will find the union outside of itself, for Divine Law AS WITHIN, SO WITHOUT, is valid cosmically. More, than this, to finally allow the deepest expressions of love, to manifest in whatever form this may take, is a huge step towards empowerment at relationship level. If one is totally dedicated to express love, in its purest forms, then love will express itself, in exuberant ways, without wanting pay-off, or anything else in return, but love, itself.
It is when one finally steps past the negative ego, and into the higher soul self, that the expectations are gone, the demands, the give-me symdrome, and then one finally allows love to sprout forth unencumbered.
Love has no conditions.
Love has no boundaries.
Love has no demands.
Love does not perform nor does it seek to measure performance.
Love does not compete, for in truth, there is no competition.
Love loves the seeming flaws, and sees only the perfection of soul lessons in love to be mastered.
Love has no: “If you do that, I will…..”
Love has no “I want this and that, and I want you to…..”
Love has no “You did this and that and I can give the second, the minute, the date when this and that happened…..”:
Love has no slings for slinging and slanging matches…..
Love does not keep score.
Love does not exchange for money, status, physical control, and whatever else.
Love is not bound by legal contracts, nor by divorce laws, no by what is owed nor owned.
Love Blesses the Divine Other.
Love is grateful. Love is grateful for small and little things, for the small and big gestures, tokens, expressions of love, and love in all its myriad of forms and disguises. Love is grateful for the blessings of love, and blesses love, and through the blessings, love multiplies.
When we finally step into full maturity as souls, as will work at finding unity within ourselves, before we seek union anywhere else. It is a process. It means having the guts to face the woundedness, the un-wholeness within, and therefore to seek that profound unity with the Divine, before this can manifest in true union with one’s Beloved.
Love asks the Beloved for an anointment of Blessings and Love, and then to understand, that each union, each coming together, has its own blessings, and its own love-in-expression-feeling-and-Being.
Sometimes one moves heaven and earth, and it is earth-shaking.
Sometimes it is pure tenderness and that deep soul connection that goes beyond words.
Sometimes it is pure comfort of feeling each other, being there for each other, in so many ways.
Sometimes it is delightful, playful, joyful and sometimes steeped in tears.
Sometimes one can span dimensions, and one can literally melt into the Infinite wonder of All-that-is.
Sometimes it is fiery and charged.
Sometimes it is a gently lapping brook, tranquil, peaceful and steeped and flowing with love.
Embrace Love, in all its forms and expressions.
And one day, you will find that love has gently been set alight in your heart, soul, and Being, and has found a nesting place there, and indeed, that nesting place, has always been there with the Divine Other, for it is a deep homecoming, and UNION, and deep feeling of safety, of ONENESS, which has never left.
It has always been there, eternally, and will always be there eternally.
And then the Divine Other, in a moment of great love and tenderness says: “Only with you. Only with you.”
And you smile.
Yes, only with you, my Beloved. For you are home to me, and I am home to you, and we both a Athome with the Divine, where we eternally belong.